NCFM Member Tim Patten, What Do Men Need Women For?
It is common knowledge that most women are disappointed by our unwillingness or inability to maintain satisfactory relationships with them. In fact, more than a few are downright disgusted by our so-called disability.
Not surprisingly, they regularly make their feelings on the subject known to others. They express frustrations or compare notes with girlfriends. They write to advice columns –Ask Abby, Ann Landers and Miss Manners, among others – seeking answers. And some, especially feminists and women’s studies advocates, simply label it as another reason why men are to blame for all the world’s ills.
Over time, many in society have become brainwashed into thinking that males are, indeed, a major problem. Hence, our needs and feelings are ignored. Those with the resources or experience necessary to help others never reach out to those of us who are suffering; only females are deemed worthy of assistance or support.
And yet, despite this lopsided bias in their favor, we are surrounded by a great many frustrated and unhappy women. By the same token, divorce rates – and the fallout that such breakups cause to all concerned – have soared to all-time highs.
The history of men
For men, however, unfair treatment over the course of years and decades is having the opposite effect. Increasingly, they are becoming energized and empowered with a new life philosophy that embraces living a satisfying life – without having to depend on a woman to make it happen.
One reason why, perhaps, can be seen in our past. From the days of our earliest ancestors, men have proved astoundingly capable of creating a world that enables humanity to survive and thrive. They played a defining role in harnessing fire, conquering weather, tapping our world’s resources, and designing and building the homes, roads, and other infrastructure necessary for our continued existence.
Men have also been willing to give up a lot or even make the ultimate sacrifice for others. They have fought in wars to protect families and ways of life. They have protected women and children from disease, environmental dangers, and other threats. Along the way, they have also put up with all sorts of strains and stresses, including female harassment and random emotional outbursts.
Still, for all their strengths and abilities, men have long been weighed down by an Achilles heel: the urge to procreate. This shortcoming, if it can be called that, has long been exploited by women for their own ends. They have used their knowledge of male biology and the power it gives them to lead many men down a dark path.
Once a man has been snagged, many women don’t – or won’t – think twice about treating him like a child-boy, telling him what to do and when to do it. More often than not, he ends up being ground down to a point where he has no balls, so to speak, self-worth or even a sense of his own self. He loses the passion for a wonderful life worth living, no longer chasing ambitions or dreams.
The hatred of men
But this relentless oppression of the masculine persona does not just take place at the individual level. More broadly, society has also come to the dangerously unfair conclusion that men deserve to be treated poorly simply because of their gender. Many presumably intelligent people seem only too happy to accept the hasty generalization fallacy that a few bad apples represent the whole harvest.
Indeed, this seems to be the point being made in a new book by E. Jean Carroll, What Do We Need Men For? Ms. Carroll, a journalist and advice columnist, in June 2019 accused former CBS CEO Les Moonves and U.S. President Donald Trump of sexually assaulting her in the mid-1990s, which both men have denied.
Based on her alleged personal experiences and the stories of males doing wrong that have been recounted in her “Ask E. Jean” columns, she concluded that women’s understanding of men could be summarized as follows: men are lying, cheating, robing, perjuring, assaulting and murdering humans.
In other words, Ms. Carroll maintains, women might as well hate men. Moreover, if it wasn’t for what we can “provide” – a home, money, security and so on – she would argue that women should be more outspoken – like many lesbians are – about their abhorrence of males and the negative impact all of us have on women and civilization at large.
Unfortunately, this perspective has not been limited to anti-male zealots and feminist propagandists. It has infected large swathes of society and regularly overshadows all sorts of male-female interactions. In the #MeToo era, men are increasingly on guard and fearful, regardless of their motives. Any crazy accusation, even if it is made by a hormone-raging woman, can destroy his life, relationships and career.
And even when there is love and romance, the constant drumbeat of anti-male sentiment can force things into an oppressive downward cycle. Increasingly, it doesn’t seem to take long before a woman starts saying “I hate you!” to someone who she once said was the love of her life. In many cases, it ends up with her insisting that he sleep on the couch or her throwing him out of the house – even if he owns it!
For many men, such behavior doesn’t leave them asking whether she means it. They don’t question whether she is using him for what she can get or if she genuinely likes and loves him. They simply kowtow to her demands, believing that if they offend her or disobey “the rules” they might as well be in a stench-filled death camp where crawling parasites come along each night and feed on your flesh.
The modern men’s movement
Unfortunately, such behavior – together with the fact that women have been holding males accountable for all sorts of imagined wrongs since the beginning of time – has until recently left men feeling desperate and downtrodden. Many believed there was no way they could ever be free of a framework built on female avariciousness and outright lies.
But things are changing. Millions have been experiencing wake-up calls that help them realize things don’t have to be this way. Increasingly, these “red pill” moments are unfolding everywhere you look. Men are freeing themselves from the secret rulebook of demands that women insist on before even acknowledging their existence. They are beginning to understand that treating a woman like a queen merely ends up robbing them of their time, money and passions.
Encouraged and emboldened by friends and supporters at Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW) and other such groups, they are wondering aloud about what women give them other than lives filled with unwanted drama and crushing financial baggage. As an alternative, they are being shown that they can live a truly satisfying existence without needing to have a woman at the center of it.
A meaningful life
In fact, they are learning that there are plenty of ways to achieve what they once thought was only attainable through relationships with a spouse or significant other. They don’t need to trade sexual satisfaction for day-to-day misery, unfilled ambitions and broken dreams. They can have happy and productive lives without subsuming themselves. Below are some thoughts on how it can be done:
- Love and be loved. People on their death beds often maintain that this is the most important accomplishment of their lives. It need not be love for a woman, wife or girlfriend – it can be anyone you care deeply about.
- The joy of love. Love doesn’t have to be limited to one person. There’s more than enough to go around; why not share it with family, friends, neighbors and pets?
- Spiritual and physical health. It’s not easy to get going and maintain a regular exercise regime, but experience suggests this can help you get to where you want to be.
- Life of meaning. Many men have been brainwashed into believing there are only limited ways of making a difference. In reality, it can come from any number of directions, including through contributions to the lives of family, friends, community and nation.
- Clean your home. Being in a relationship isn’t a prerequisite for having a clean and well-ordered existence. It is just as easy – and probably far less costly and troublesome – to hire a cleaner.
- Learn what you need to know. You don’t need a wife to help you become the person you were meant to be. How about finding a great life coach or developing loyal friendships, instead?
- Hunger and thirst. Yes, it is convenient to have somebody at home doing the cooking. But you can also get the same thing by eating or ordering out, learning to make a salad, or simply arranging lunch with a friend.
- Friendship and companionship. There are plenty of people – and nonhumans – who can satisfy the need to have others in your life. What about family, friends or a loyal pet?
- Self-esteem: In the end, who you are comes from within, rather than from somebody else. And even if you don’t quite accept that, understand that no one will ever love you more than those who raised you, including you mother and father.
- Care when you are old or ill. Strive to have the best health insurance coverage and leave it to those who make it their business to look after people in need of assistance.
- Hire sex workers, go to strip bars, purchase sex toys and robots, and look for no-strings-attached friends (you may also want to consider a vasectomy to avoid any unwanted entanglements).
The fact is, men can live productive and satisfying lives without being in a relationship. Give that, if women want to improve relations between the sexes, and afford men a genuine and well-meaning alternative, they must unlearn jealous, spiteful and backstabbing behaviors. They must disavow the male hatred advocated by others. They must teach themselves to respect masculinity and understand men’s motives and thinking processes.
For those who can’t see that such is necessary, there is only one thing to say: stay away from men!
About the author
Tim Patten’s latest book Masculinity Is Our Future is also available in audio format. He has published the handy investment guide: MGTOW, Building Wealth and Power. And MGTOW Why I Cheat– 11 campfire stories for men’s ears only. All his books and articles are a celebration of masculinity and pay homage to the modern men’s liberation movement.