Narcissism Isn’t Self-Esteem

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Stock Peter One Use Only Do Not Use Again

Author: Paul Elam

Let
me
tell
you
what
I’d
do
if
I
liked
money
more
than
self-respect.
I’d
go
to
the
local
shopper’s
club
and
buy
a
hundred
gross
of
small
brown
paper
bags.
Then
I’d
drive
out-of-town
to
the
nearest
auction
barn
and
pay
them
a
fair
price
to
let
me
go
into
the
stalls
and
fill
every
bag
with
an
even
pound
of
cow
crap.

Then
I’d
slap
on
some
shiny
pink
labels
with
“Bag-O-Women’s-Self-Esteem,”
printed
on
them
in
a
distinctly
womanish
font,
add
a
five,
no,
ten-dollar
price
tag,
and
tie
’em
closed
with
couple
of
nice
frou
frou
ribbons.
Next,
I’d
set
up
a
kick
back
arrangement
with
Oprah
in
exchange
for
an
endorsement
and
take
out
an
ad
in
Cosmo
or
Redbook.

Then
I
would
head
down
to
Belize
and
sit
on
the
beach,
throw
back
cocktails
and
check
the
bank
account
on
my
android
8
or
10
times
a
day.
After
about
a
week
I’d
buy
the
beach
I
was
sitting
on,
and
maybe
that
cute
little
senorita
that
was
fetching
my
drinks.
The
word
expatriate
would
start
sounding
pretty
good.

And
I’d
be
doing
myself
and
you
ladies
a
big
favor.
It
would
be
perfect
synergy.
I
like
money,
and
you
like
buying
disingenuous
bullshit
that
feeds
your
narcissism.

You’ve
been
doing
it
for
as
long
as
I
can
remember.
Fake
self-esteem,
like
98%
of
everything
else
that
is
marketed
just
to
females,
is
just
ego
food
for
the
insatiably
hungry.
It
has
become
the
psycho-porn
of
the
western
woman,
with
profits
that
would
put
a
twinkle
in
Bill
Gates’
eyes.
How
much
profit
exactly
is
anyone’s
guess.

What
I
do
know
is
that
the
narcissism
racket
comes
in
a
lot
of
guises.
I
will
deal
with
the
two
major
ones
here
because
that
is
all
I
have
time
for.

First,
the
plastic
surgery
route.
With
8-year-olds
getting
bikini
waxes
and
high
school
juniors
getting
fitted
for
an
instant
C
cup,
it
is
a
growing
industry
for
the
grrls.
Cosmetic
surgeons
know
exactly
how
much
narcissistic
gratification
results
when
your
tits
are
bigger,
producing
more
drooling
mouths
and
hungry
eyes.
More
adulation
at
first
sight.

This
is
the
narcissistic
fulfillment
that
they
pass
off
as
self-esteem,
and
they
use
it
as
an
advertising
come
on
in
the
same
way
beer
companies
use
girls
in
bikinis.
Since
you
are
the
consumer,
it
sells
like
cheap
crack
in
a
bad
neighborhood.
And
so
now
you
and
your
sisters
are
lined
up
like
schoolgirls
for
tickets
to
see
Taylor
Swift,
to
get
cut
and
stretched,
injected
and
inflated,
and
to
have
your
fat
asses
suctioned
down
to
bubbles
of
perfection.

But,
there
is
one
ever
so
slight
problem.
Actually,
it’s
a
big
one.

You
see,
narcissism
isn’t
self-esteem.
Not
even
close.
If
you
think
self-esteem
and
the
self-obsessed
craving
for
worship
are
the
same
thing,
then
go
buy
those
plastic
titties.
They
will
match
your
character
and
personality
just
fine,
and
they
might
go
a
long
way
toward
a
career
as
a
porn
star
or
topless
dancer
if
the
scars
don’t
show
too
much.
After
all,
it’s
common
knowledge
that
self-esteem
abounds
for
women
who
can
squat
down
and
pick
up
folded
dollar
bills
off
the
floor
with
the
crack
of
their
ass
while
a
room
full
of
drunks
howl
at
them.

Then
you
can
attract
more
men
and
join
the
millions
of
other
women
that
spend
their
time
bitching
about
how
those
men
won‘t
look
at
them
from
the
neck
up.
It’s
a
small
price
to
pay
for
all
that
“self-esteem.”

Tell
you
what
-today
only-
two
bags
of
cow
shit
for
the
price
of
one.

Now,
if
you
are
not
on
an
elective
surgery
budget,
you
needn’t
feel
left
out.
There
is
a
whole
world
of
cheaper
but
equally
fake
assistance
with
your
problem.
It’s
the
Stuart
Smalley
route
of
the
self-esteem
simpleton.
And
it
is
for
sale
in
the
wacky
world
of
mental
health.
The
purveyors,
usually
women
who
are
every
bit
as
narcissistic
as
you,
are
scattered
across
the
world-wide
web,
thicker
than
Henry
Kissinger’s
accent.
For
a
mere
hundred
or
two
hundred
per
hour,
they
will
give
you
the
stalwart
advice
to
look
in
the
mirror
-each
and
every
day-
and
say
really
affirming
things
like “I
am
unique.
I
am
special.
I
am
the
only
‘me’
there
is!”
 They
will
advise
you
to
smile
while
saying
it,
but
I
dare
you
to
simply
keep
a
straight
face.

They
will
tell
you
there
are
lots
of
reasons
you
don’t
have
self-esteem.
The
most
common
one
being
men
that
don’t
see
just
how
special
you
really
are,
or
don’t
tell
you
as
much
every
15
minutes.
No
narcissism
there,
eh?

Those
women
love
to
tell
you
that
failure
to
saturate
you
with
adulation
is
where
you
lose
your
self-esteem.
They’ll
tell
you,
with
faces
as
straight
as
bourbon
whiskey,
that
this
is
where
your
self-esteem
gets
lost,
like
the
pocket
you
kept
it
in
had
a
hole
in
it
and
a
hundred
hours
of
therapy
would
help
you
find
it
again.

Actually,
they
will
make
it
look
a
little
more
sinister.
It’s
like
this:
You
get
into
a
relationship
and
at
first
he
is
all
roses
and
chocolates
and
the
compliments
you
so
desperately
need.
After
time
though,
he
starts
saying
things
that
are
not
really
bad,
but
just
a
little
cutting,
like
“I’m
going
fishing
with
my
friends,”

After
some
more
time
passes,
it
gets
worse.
When
his
fishing
trips
don’t
stop
simply
because
you
tell
him
how
important
it
is
for
him
to
give
them
up
for
you,
what
started
as
“I’m
going
fishing
with
my
friends,”
ends
up
being
“Get
off
my
back
you
insufferable
fucking
control
freak.”

With
that,
Self-esteem,
or
the
narcissism
disguised
as
much,
goes
right
into
the
drink.

Seriously
though,
ladies,
disinformation
about
your
self-esteem
aside,
the
self-help
gurus
aren’t
any
better
at
it
than
the
cutters.
And
they
miss
the
most
important
thing
about
self-esteem,
just
like
you
do.

The
cold
truth
is
that
if
you
have
self-esteem,
something
very
different
from
narcissism,
nobody
can
take
it
from
you.
And
if
you
can
surrender
it
to
someone,
even
an
asshole
who
says
he
loves
you,
then
you
never
had
it
to
begin
with.

That
is
partly
because
there
is
no
such
thing
as
self-esteem.
It
is
just
a
made-up
word;
a
marketing
tool
to
get
into
your
purse,
or
through
you
to
your
man’s
wallet.
They
just
call
it
self-esteem
instead
of
narcissism
because
women
won’t
pay
to
address
their
narcissism.

There
is,
however,
another
asset
you
might
consider.
It’s
called
self-respect.
And
self-respect,
since
it
must
be
earned,
is
rarely
sacrificed.
And
if
you
have
it,
you
probably
don’t
need
a
therapist
or
a
surgeon.

When
you
have
self-respect,
respect
from
others
is
a
given.
But
you
can’t
have
respect
from
others
or
yourself
if
what
you
keep
chasing
is
actually
a
form
of
worship.
And
if
you
are
the
average
woman
in
today’s
world,
you
don’t
have
a
damned
clue
as
to
the
difference.
It
makes
selling
you
bags
of
bullshit
all
the
easier.
In
fact,
as
long
as
you
insist
on
hanging
on
to
the
idea
that
you’re
not
really
a
narcissist,
it
makes
selling
you
anything
but
bullshit
impossible.
Narcissists
don’t
buy
self-improvement,
or,
for
that
matter,
anything
truthful.

Unlike
what
any
plastic
surgeon
or
psychobabble
spouting
huckster
will
tell
you,
you
have
to
get
off
your
ass
and
earn
the
way
people
see
and
treat
you,
and
the
way
you
see
and
treat
yourself.

You
do
this
through
the
development
of
your
character,
not
as
a
princess
or
little
girl
or
the
self-designated
center
of
someone
else’s
universe,
but
as
a
grown
human
being
with
more
focus
on
your
responsibilities
than
your
entitlements.
Ante
up
like
a
big
girl
and
see
how
quickly
the
world,
and
men,
treat
you
like
one.

But
the
real
trick
here
is
for
you
to
understand
that
people,
particularly
men,
failing
to
meet
unrealistic
expectations
isn’t
robbing
you
of
anything.
They
aren’t
respecting
you
by
catering
to
your
narcissistic
childishness,
they
are
just
giving
in
to
it,
and,
in
the
mother
of
all
ironies,
disrespecting
themselves.

Now
you
can
take
this
advice,
which
is
totally
free,
and
start
applying
it
today.
You
can
start
by
putting
down
the
mirror
and
looking
inward
this
very
minute.
Before
you
know
it
other
people,
men
included,
will
be
looking
at
you
in
a
way
you
have
likely
never
seen
before.
With
genuine
admiration.
I
know,
it’s
a
poor
substitute
for
adulation,
but
in
the
real
world
it
has
to
do.

Or,
if
you
just
can’t
wrap
your
mind
around
the
idea
that
the
onus
is
on
you
to
get
the
job
done;
that
self-respect
is
a
by-product
of
maturity
and
humility,
I
have
another
form
of
self-esteem,
right
here,
by
the
bag
full.

Operators
are
standing
by.

Original Story on AVFM
These stories are from AVoiceForMen.com.
(Changing the cultural narrative)

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