Author: Paul Elam
Author’s note; If you are happily married or in any other mode of human bonding that puts you in the role of primary breadwinner, please feel free to ignore this piece. It is written solely for those men who have chosen a different path.
More specifically, it is written for men who are going their own way, but who do not want to totally cut themselves off from sex and occasional female companionship.
For you old timers here, think of this as a comment from “Dr. Paul” for men. PE
If all you want is periodic sex and companionship with a woman, then smile real big. You owe that to yourself. Well, unless you are using your wallet to get there.
If that is the case, you are throwing away good money and putting yourself in the role of a John. If that floats your boat, well enough. But you might want to keep reading anyway.
We will start with some uncomfortable basics.
Inconvenient fact #1
Women decide in the first five minutes (or seconds) of meeting you whether they want to bed down with you.
That is a fact that I will wager 90+% of men never get through their skulls.
Those five minutes, or seconds as the case may be, are the only moments ever that you have sway over which way she goes with her decision, and your biggest hope for her deciding your way is not to give a damn what she decides.
I don’t create the rules. I just observe them.
That is not to say that money can’t play a role in that time. A guy head to toe in Armani and Italian leather will stand out for sure, and will attract more women. He will also attract the very kind of woman who wants to take all that shit from him the second she can get her claws in.
Inconvenient fact #2
Some guys get laid a lot more often. Whether it is money, movie star looks, a porn star cock and the skills to back it or a very serious (often innate) understanding of female psychology, some men just have an edge. Adjust your expectations accordingly. It is much easier to do that when you learn to aggressively manage that pathetic pining to get laid. And in almost ironic fashion, learning to not be pathetic about women with your wallet or anything else is one of the few things you can do to increase your sexual opportunities.
So even if more sex is your motive, the path to get there is a daily dose of IDGAF pills.
Inconvenient fact #3
Using your wallet in a “dating scene” is better described as saying that you are actually paying a string of prostitutes in the hopes that one of them will deliver service.
Talk about inconvenient. This one takes the cake. Take an honest prostitute. She will go away when you are done and won’t tell you that she doesn’t like your shirt or that your friends drink too much.
Thankfully, there are also some decidedly convenient facts. Remembering them can help you think of your wallet as something other than where you used to keep money when you had it.
Convenient fact #1
There are women who don’t mind paying their own way. Sure, they are not falling out of trees. They are out there, though. And you can encounter them if you are the kind of man uninterested in any other kind of woman.
That means projecting your values to the people who know you, without compromise (and without a lot of fanfare).
You can even do a reasonable amount of advertising in your own social circles that you only do the Dutch thing; that if you were a multi-millionaire you would not pay a woman to spend time with you. Feel free to let people quietly know that if you wanted an escort service you have the Yellow Pages.
If you don’t make too much of a production of it; if you are not too ostentatious (and if you don’t have leprosy or body odor) that will likely result in a woman expressing interest in you who may not have otherwise done so.
It will also turn off every goldbricking skeezer in the group. If you have been chasing tail with your wallet, you know just the kind of woman I am talking about. She already has some of your cash. Maybe a lot of it.
Convenient fact #2
Looks depreciate. Money appreciates. Two realities of life are at play here. Looking at them honestly can be a little chilling. One, a woman’s looks depreciate with time. I am not just talking about time in the sense of crow’s feet and sagging boobs. I am talking about the basic reality that you could be with the most beautiful woman in the world, a wild, incredible lover, and over a period of time she would lose her luster.
Well, in your eyes anyway. It is no different for her. Man or woman, you have sex with the same person enough times and the passion fades. There may be some exceptions, but I am wagering not many.
The longer men and women stay together, the less emphasis and value they put on sex.
On the other hand, your money (aside from inflation) will be just as good in five years as it is right now.
When you chase women with your wallet, her looks and your money both dry up on you. So put your freaking wallet up and just open your mind to a woman who fits your lifestyle. You will be in much better shape when and if it is over.
Convenient fact #3
You are in charge of all of this. You can either see yourself as someone just playing the cards they were dealt, or you can become the dealer.
You can live with the reality that money attracts whores, or you can enjoy the delusion that if you spend enough you will be wanted and loved.
Or, should you decide to take a different path, you can become hooker kryptonite and learn to better attract lower maintenance women, regardless of how much time you actually want to spend with them.
Original Story on AVFM
These stories are from AVoiceForMen.com.
(Changing the cultural narrative)